diagnose this

sometime and someplace in two thousand and eight the year of our Lord a group of people were getting ready for a crazy adventure they were all on the call up team for that weekend and like most weekends on call they were sitting in the team room watching the tv desperate housewives was on and the guys were taking turns picking which girl on the tv show they would get with "i'd let her do dirty things to me" said one of them "you just got married jim" another one said "i'd do jim's wife" shouted another "yeah me too" said one more "i wouldn't have you seen her feet her toes are all the wrong lengths the little one is longer than the one next to it" added another "hey jim your wife is so hot i bet you the mormon would sleep with her wouldn't you" jested another "gee jim i don't know i mean she is smoking hot but i'm not sure about the whole toe thing is that true" and then laughter broke out like usual and a few friendly punches thrown "but seriously jim if your kid comes out half white and not all mexican don't blame me" someone said and then everyone laughed jim included

then the Phone rang and it got quiet everyone looked at the officer to see what it was and when he hung up the phone we all knew from that little nod he always gives and away we went each of us went to our locker and opened them up to get out our gear we eased ourselves into our body armor which we called dragon skin because it looked like it had tons of small circular scales then we put our kits on over that grabbed our helmets and made sure we had our night vision then we all made sure we had water and batteries and our knives and checked over each other it was a ritual that we all knew and all did every time i pulled my aid bag out of the locker and slung it on my back and then we all filed out of the room down the hallway to the cage and we punched in our code and our rifles and secondaries came wipping around on a conveyer belt type thing were we picked them up and and slung them across us then grabbed our magazines loaded with ammo and began to put them in our kits checking them to make sure they were full and ready we picked up our radios and turned in our identification and cell phones into the secretary then straight to the planning bay were big plasma screens were lining the walls with information loaded on them of the current situation and a brain was in there to brief us on what we were to do it was pretty simple all we had to do was hop out of a bird kick in a door clear a house and take prisoners if we could so we studied the maps and floor plan of the small two storry house and when our leader was satisfied with our working knowledge of street names room sizes buildings pictures of targets we headed out to the helipad and hopped on the birds

one of the guys pulled out a cigarette and lit it his hands were shaking not because he was scared his hands just alway shook on the bird maybe like a nervous tick because we were all nervous it doesn't matter how good we think we are or how much training we've had you always get nervous in fact if you aren't nervous then there is something wrong with you and i wouldn't want you next to me so he shook and took long drags off his cigarette the guy next to me had his head in his hands and he was praying he always prayed in the bird another one of the guys was tapping the side of his weapon with his thumb it was the same rythm every time fast fast slow fast fast slow another was stairing out the side of the bird and counting every second and when he got to a thousand he would put a small mark on his left arm with a fine point black marker i just twirled my hair with my finger they would always joke and say that the only reason i'm so handsome is because of my curly hair and the only reason i have curly hair is because of my nervous tick so i can thank them for making me handsome i didn't have the heart to tell them it has always been curly and that they just didn't notice it because i had short hair before i was put into them

the crew chief waved his arms at us and we all moved to the doors and sat on the edge with our feet hangning out the guy next to me slung his m4 and grabbed his shotgun the bird flared right in front of the house and we hopped off and ran straight to the door as we were doing this the other team was being dropped off on the roof as we stacked outside the door the other team took up positions on the roof to cover all the streets and walkways leading up to the building one of the guys put the shotgun barrel right on the lock and turned his head away and squeezed blasting the lock clean off as soon as he did that the guy next to him kicked the door and the whole team flowed into the room

i could hear shots before i even made it in when i turned the corner there was a young man leaned out behind a flipped over table and i squeezed off two round into him i saw the first one hit him square in the chest and the second right next to it and i turned to check the corner i was headed for room was cleared and someone shouted "door right door right" i was on the right and i was the second guy stacked on it it was open and three of us moved in the first guy went through the door and immediatly fell straight forward from gunfire and i kept moving behind him stepping ontop of him and past him as i fired a slow and steady stream of rounds down the hallway while moving to the end of it where the guy was peaked around the corner the firing at me stopped so i kept moving up on him the end of the hall opened into a bedroom and we cleared it the guy shooting at us was dead the house was cleared

i immediatly ran back to the end of the hall and our guy was leaned up against the wall with his weapon pointed down the hall ready to shoot something swearing and cursing every word he could think of he had his hand and a wad of guaze from his blow out kit held tight on his shoulder some of it inside the wound but most of it all over the ground he looked at me and said "fix it doc this place smells funny and i want to go home" so i grabbed out a roll of kerlex and pushed it into the wound it wasn't bleeding hardly at all so we wrapped it up and moved to the entrance were the team had three guys zip tied and ready to move jim looked at us and said "what happened to him doc" and i shrugged my shoulder and said "he thought if he got shot your wife would feel sorry for him and give him a little something something" and i winked "doc . . . your wierd" and i said "that's just my diagnosis" jim held up his left hand and gave me the finger saying "diagnose this" and i said "homosexuality" and we got on the birds and headed back